Going Nappy Free!

How to go Nappy Free....even if just part time :-) every wee counts!

#1 Go for the Easiest Catches First

It's commonly known among EC (Elimination Communication) parents that babies will wee upon waking, so this is usually an easy time to 'catch' a wee.  Pick your baby up when they first rouse, otherwise they might wee before you make it to the potty. Take him to the potty & hold your baby in a 'squat' position with knees up. Take this opportunity to establish the cue for going potty: "ssss," "go potty," or whatever works for you. Say this quietly in your baby's ear each time you hold them over the potty and soon baby will recognise this cue signal for potty. Wait a few moments to see if your baby will do a wee or poo.  Some babies take longer than others.  Some will happily sit there for a while, others will squirm and wriggle.  Listen to your baby.  If you catch a wee simply say 'You did a wee'.  There's no reason to do a song and dance about it, even if you feel excited, because it is just a normal, everyday function and doesn't need to be made into a drama.  Your baby will know what's happened.  Remember, this is mostly about communicating, so listen to your baby and respond to them lovingly. 

#2 Wear your Baby

It's can be difficult to read your baby's subtle cues if they aren't close to you. Wear your baby in a sling while you move around the house, and you'll be able to detect every squirm and sound. For best results, wear your baby in a carrier that's easy to take baby into and out of, such as a pouch or a sling. Anything more complicated than that will take too much time and foil your attempts to respond to your baby promptly. Avoid dressing baby in complicated clothing & onesies, though they're cute, they are harder to get baby in and out of easily. Go for easy on/off pants, underpants, a long t-shirt or gown, or better yet, nothing at all. When baby is naked in the sling, you're naturally more motivated to tune into his cues.  It can be handy to have a little mat under your baby to catch misses if they are Nappy Free.  Check out the Bongo Baby Bum Mats which are perfect for this.

#3 Make the Switch to Cloth or Trainers

Disposable diapers are engineered to pull wetness away from baby's skin, so that he always feels dry, even after peeing. This disconnects baby from their bodily process and can make ECing harder. Many prefer to use cloth instead so that baby does not lose the association between the act of eliminating and the resulting wet sensation. And in most cases, we're inclined to change a wet cloth diaper sooner than a soiled disposable.

Cloth diapering can be easy. Most moms who practice EC choose to put their babies in cloth with no cover when around the house, because it affords just enough protection to the furniture, and both mom and baby know immediately when baby has wet the nappy. Then it can be changed while you communicate to your baby about it, ie "Your nappy is wet.  I'm going to take it off and wipe you clean, so you can be clean and dry.  Next time we might catch your wee in the potty."  Keep it light and fun, with no disappointment or shaming your baby if you don't catch a wee, remember it's a two-way connection and it's up to us to tune into baby's cues and help them get to the potty.

Trainers make it even easier to check for quick potty stops, while still having some protection in case of accidents!  Check out the Bongo Baby Eco Nix for a quick and easy solution!

#4 Trust your Intuition

Just like anything new, it can feel a bit awkward when you start ECing, especially if you haven't seen anyone else do it.  The trick is to observe your baby.  Just be with them and watch them, start to learn your baby's behaviour, take their nappy off and have them on a towel and see what happens with them just before they do a wee.  Some babies cry or fuss, some get a bit wriggly, some look a bit distant or distracted.  And sometimes there is no obvious sign, just quietness.  You can go by timing, by checking after they wake and checking again in a little while, or check each time before or after moving from one place to the next, ie a car trip or going for a walk.  Young babies up to a few months old wee quite often, then as their bladder grows so does the time between wees.  Sometimes they will suprise you by doing a few in quick succession, sometimes they will go a while between wees.  If you think or feel your baby needs to do a wee or poo, it's easy to do a quick potty check.  At least you will know if your baby needed that, or if it's something else.  Often if my baby is upset, unless I know he's hungry or something obvious, I will quickly check for a wee first and it's amazing how many times that's all he needs.  Then he'll be calm and content again.  All babies are different, it's just about observing your baby's behaviour, trusting your intuition, and growing and learning together. And just to mix it up, just when you thought you had it all happening smoothly, something is likely to change...so be gentle with yourself and your baby!

#5 When the Going Gets Tough

One thing I say to people is EC is not about catching wees, it's about communication.  Catching wees or poos is a benefit of course!  If you become obsessed with results you might start feeling frustrated if you miss a wee (or several). At times like this it is important to realize that this is a process of deepening awareness for both you and your child. Even a miss is an opportunity to learn about baby's patterns, and to communicate about elimination. At the same time, recognize when it's time to take a break. It is okay to put your child in nappies and come back to it at a later time. As long as you come back to it, and as long as you maintain a gentle awareness of your little one's elimination patterns, your connection will not be lost. Seek out support from online forums or other nappy-free parents when the going gets tough, or when you have questions or doubts. Read or reread one of the excellent books on infant pottying. Come back to it when you feel refreshed.  Relax and trust that your intention to connect is the most important factor.

#6 The benefits

Besides the obvious benefit of less nappies to wash, there are other major benefits of going nappy free, even if just part time.  Deeper connection and communication with your baby.  Baby's improved awareness of their own bodily processes, and removing the stigma surrounding elimination - it is natural, after all, and we all do it!  More empowered children as they can communicate and have their needs met earlier than if you weren't practising Elimination Communication.  More conscious awareness of our babies and their needs...and all these things basically mean your relationship with your baby and connection is just better - and that's a good thing!  Besides, one extra thing is you can share it with your friends who will be amazed at how in tune you are with your baby, and you get to meet other like-minded parents who will be able to share other incredibly empowering parenting information with you....are you tempted to try it yet?  Oh, and also - it is FUN!  And addictive!  I love it!

#7 The most important thing to remember

Lighten up, laugh, be gentle with yourself and enjoy your baby!

The Birth of Zen …or in other words, my blissful, orgasmic, euphoric, sensual, unassisted freebirth waterbirth homebirth lotus birth of our little boy

T’was the night before Easter and all through the house not a creature was stirring except perhaps a mouse or 2 in the kitchen…

Brett and I were relaxing on our daybed under the full moon indulging in our own early Easter present, Lindt balls.  They were the perfect temperature, liquid chocolate in the middle, so luxurious! Months earlier I had predicted that we would be birthing under the Easter Full Moon.  That was tonight.  I wasn’t attached to it being tonight, but I was curious when our baby would join us, knowing that it would be really soon.  I had been having some vague-out moments for the past couple of days, similar to what happened prior to birthing my other 2 babies.

“Do you think the baby knows when it is going to be born?” I asked Brett.
“I think they are more in present moment awareness than that,” he replied.
“But do you think the baby will be having a sense of anticipation, like something is about to happen?” I wondered.
“Yes probably…” he pondered.

 It was getting late and we were getting tired so we decided to go to bed, it was 10:15pm on Saturday night (and the tap drips under the strip light…).  Nothing was happening, which was okay, and we wanted to get some sleep.  In bed we snuggled up together, kissing and cuddling and indulging in each other sensually as we usually do.  Brett started caressing me in the beautiful way he does, touching my breasts and body so tenderly, and I felt such blissful energy flowing through me.  Especially when he stroked underneath my belly, it sent waves of pleasure through my body which felt really delicious.  When he started caressing my breasts again I felt a different pleasure deep in my womb.  So deep, so powerful.  Wow, that feels different, amazing!  It felt like a deep opening feeling.  As he continued to touch me and kiss me I felt it again, a deep expansion down low in my womb.  I placed my hand on my womb and felt such a powerful energy flowing through me. 

I’d had frequent Braxton Hicks contractions (which I prefer to call ‘womb rushes’) throughout my whole pregnancy, but this feeling was different.  It was much lower down and started radiating from a deeper place with more intensity.  Brett could feel it too, it was a different energy to what we were used to.   Then I started shivering. Hardcore shivering with chattering teeth I could not control.  It was strange.  We pulled the blankets up and it immediately warmed me and eased my shivering.  We continued to lie in bed together for a while more, thoroughly enjoying the feelings flowing through us in such a sensual space.  Especially when he touched my breasts, it triggered a deep and powerful yet also gentle surge of energy in my womb. 

“I think we’re having our baby tonight!” I said to Brett.
“Yes, I can feel it.  I can feel that energy in your womb, it’s amazing!” said Brett.

After a while of indulging in this warm, beautiful space together, we both realised we needed to get up and set up the birthing space.  We could have easily stayed in bed luxuriating in this energy for longer but our practical side kicked in.  We needed to set up the birthing pool, put up blankets over the loungeroom windows to block out the morning light, set up the space with candles, set up the fire, etc.  So we got up and went into the living area.  It was about 11pm at this point.

The birth rushes slowed down while we attended practical details.  We had chosen to ‘freebirth’, which meant we didn’t need to call any birth attendants or anything, we were birthing our baby in our own space of love without any professionals in attendance.  In trusting the birth process and knowing my body is perfectly designed to birth our baby, we both felt freedom and excitement in being able to indulge in this sensual space together without spectators, loving our baby out just as we’d loved it in there in the first place!

Brett got the fire going, we found blankets and sheets which Brett nailed up over the windows, he finished inflating the birth pool, and set up the candles.  I cleaned up the kitchen a bit and made some hummus from chickpeas that had been cooked a few days earlier…I thought I might like to eat some in the birth, that was my logic in making it a priority!  I also made up some ‘Labor-ade’ a homemade energy drink made with molasses, apple cider vinegar, sea salt, honey…and possibly a couple of other ingredients I forget right now…it was dark in colour and tasted unusual and earthy, so I put a jug of it in the loungeroom next to a big jug of water.  There were snacks in the fridge. I felt prepared.  And excited!  Our baby’s coming tonight, just as I knew it would!!

Brett cleansed the space with Palo Santo, a beautiful aromatic wood used in a similar way to sage, to energetically cleanse a space.  We also smudged each other with it.  We were both feeling really relaxed yet there was an undeniable excitement and sense of anticipation as well.  During this time the birth rushes really slowed down, I had maybe 4 or 5 rushes while we were setting up and they were quite gentle.  It helped to put my arms around Brett’s neck and breathe out ‘aahhh’ and slowly sway my hips to move the energy through me. It was really gentle and easy and felt really beautiful to have such deep energy radiating through my hips and womb. 

It was starting to get really warm in the house so we decided to go outside and connect with the full moon.  It was beautiful and refreshing out there so we stood naked under the moon light together where I had another couple of rushes flow through me.  We were enjoying the freshness of being outside and also wanted to lie down together, so we chose to nestle on the day bed in each other’s arms under the mosquito net together.  We were both feeling quite sleepy and relaxed, so we decided to close our eyes and chill out for a while, even snoozing a bit between rushes.  The birth rushes were still gentle at this point and with each one we would open our eyes and connect through it as I breathed ‘aahh’ and Brett joined me, breathing the energy through together.  We were out there for a while, like maybe an hour or more, it was hard to tell, we were in quite a timeless space, and then it started to feel a bit chilly, and I was needing to get up and move my body, so we moved into the house again. 

It was so warm and toasty in there.  Getting up and moving kicked the birth rushes in to the next level.  They were becoming more powerful now and I really needed to sway and swirl my hips while vocalising a deep and powerful ‘aahhhhhh….’ to move the energy through me.  Brett was amazing, totally connected with me, vocalising with me, swaying with me.  It felt really comforting to have his warm hand pressed low on my sacrum with each rush and it felt soothing to push my hips out to allow the energy to flow out through me into the earth, sticking my bottom out while swaying and spiralling with each rush. 

“We need to fill up the pool!” I shared with Brett as I felt such a deep opening in my body, moving me into the next level of our birth.  The hose was dismally slow, slowly trickling into the pool.  It was okay, we were still feeling really relaxed and I knew we still had a bit of time.  I was starting to really bliss out between rushes.  The most euphoric feelings were flowing through me, everything around me seemed like the edges were fuzzy and I was feeling this beautiful energy flowing through me in ecstatic waves of bliss. We were sharing such a beautiful, sensual space together exactly as we’d visioned, connecting, kissing and caressing in between rushes. As each rush began to flow through my body I put my arms around Brett’s neck and spiralled it through my hips, allowing my voice to carry the energy through my body, out through my pelvis, down into the earth, feeling myself opening, opening, deepening…it was amazing!

The rushes were coming more often now without much space between.  We checked the water level in the pool which was still really low, and the temperature was a perfect 37 degrees.  The rushes continued and became more intense, and with it my voice became deeper and more powerful to move it through, like a dark lioness, primal, low roaring, untamed and fully expressed.  It was such a surrender, embracing each rush as the wave came through me, intensifying to a powerful peak and then subsiding again, each one more powerful than that last.  I was doing nothing, just allowing my body to do what it needed, and I just moved and sounded however felt good, staying connected with Brett and feeling myself opening, expanding, dissolving into bliss between rushes.  As I felt each rush begin I welcomed it, inviting the energy to flow through me, embracing it fully.  I could feel our baby moving in my womb, part of it all, connected in this birthing space.  I was in a totally altered state which felt amazing, riding the waves of bliss, feeling myself opening and deepening in such love for our baby to come through me.  Then the energy suddenly shifted.  I felt so open and a pressure bearing down in my pelvis, feeling a widening inside me and a fullness that was expanding me open deep within.

“I need to get in the water NOW,” I said to Brett and I moved toward the pool.  But another rush started flowing through me so I put my arms around Brett’s neck again and breathed it through with a long, deep, low 'Raaaah' which got louder and intensified along with the sensations in my body.  The pressure bearing down inside me was irresistible and so powerful and for a moment I wondered if the baby was going to come out there and then.

“Oh my god, the baby’s coming…I’m opening…” I said to Brett, and as soon as the rush was over I climbed into the pool, with the warm water just barely over my hips when I was squatting.  I stuck my finger inside my yoni and felt the shiny sack of waters right there just inside!

“Wow, Brett, feel this!  The waters are right here!” I guided his hand so he could feel it too.  Then with the next rush I was squatting leaning forward and feeling a powerful pressure bearing down into my pelvis as the rush intensified…then POP! The waters broke which immediately shifted the pressure.  I shared with Brett that the waters had broken.  I put my finger inside me again and could feel the top of the baby’s head! 

“The head’s coming!” I said to Brett, and with the next rush I could feel the baby’s head moving through my yoni, and I was saying “stretch… stretch …stretch… stretch…” aloud to myself, feeling my yoni opening, feeling the top of the head crowning, emerging through me. That was Brett’s cue to climb in the pool behind me!  The same rush continued with an irresistible fullness deep in my pelvis as the baby moved down through me.  My body was doing it, I did nothing except breathe and surrender to what was happening.  I was aware of wanting to stretch slowly and the baby’s head was bearing down with a great force, my body was wanting to push the baby out totally in that one rush.  It took great self control to breathe into my body and slow it down, I didn’t want our baby to come flying out in one great whoosh!  My body was bearing down hard, pushing from within with no effort from me.  My womb so powerful.  Breathe…breathe…breathe… I was feeling the baby’s head wanting to come out, pushing through, opening me…and then the rush subsided, which was a relief to me because it gave me time to pause, with baby’s head right there crowning, stretching me open.  I knew that birthing too fast was a greater risk of tearing and it was important to me to stretch as slowly and gently as I could.  It felt amazing to be in that space for a few moments, fully stretched, baby coming out!

The pause didn’t last long, within a few moments another rush started flowing through me and my hand was on the baby’s head, feeling myself slowly gently stretching open as the head moved down, opening me more fully.  I was breathing powerfully and calmly,  feeling my yoni stretching open as the baby’s head squeezed through.  It was an incredible feeling, so expansive and exciting and exhilarating!  My body was doing it, without any effort from me.  I simply breathed and allowed it…and then the head squeezed out and popped out fully, with a bit of a “Raah…” from me.  Wow! 

There was another pause.  Brett was behind me, gently receiving our baby’s head into his loving hands.  Again, really soon another rush came through me, squeezing the baby out past the shoulders to the waist.  It was such a release, such a surrender, so amazing to feel our baby moving through me, coming out of me.  The baby was half out to it’s waist.  Then there was a pause.  I turned and looked over my shoulder to Brett.  His hand was on our baby’s heart, feeling a strong, relaxed heartbeat and Brett said to me slightly amused “bubs is asleep, totally relaxed with a good heartbeat.” So our baby was asleep, peacefully drifting under the water, totally relaxed.  There was quite a pause for a while, it’s hard to tell how long.  I was squatting with baby half out of me, Brett was holding our baby so peaceful.  What a magical moment!  Oh my god, I could see our baby.  Just a glimpse over my shoulder, but there it was, a real baby coming out of me!!

It was an interesting time to have a break!  Hmmm… waiting waiting… Everything had been so fast boom boom boom one rush after another and now we had a moment to just be still.  I'm not sure how long it was, possibly only 30 seconds or something, maybe a minute, but if felt like a while.  Then it came, another rush.  This time I gave the slightest hint of effort to nudge him through, just that last bit, a bit of a push from me and the rest of his body came squirming out of me all lumpy and squishy and long and squirmy and he was out!!  I turned around and Brett lifted him up out of the water onto my chest.  He was still asleep!  So peaceful, floppy, warm and slippery!  His heartbeat was strong and we knew he was getting everything he needed from his cord so we could relax.  He wasn’t breathing yet.  I snuggled him on my chest and gently rubbed his back, stimulating him to breathe.  We welcomed him in “Hello baby, welcome, welcome to this world!  We love you, you are here! You are perfect…welcome!” I was ecstatic to be holding our baby in my arms.   He was here!  (By the way, we still didn’t know if it was a he or she).  He wasn’t breathing yet so again I rubbed his back gently and picked him up and blew on his face.  No movement.  I sucked his nose and blew a little bit of air in his mouth.  We both felt calm and relaxed, no need to panic.  There was a tiny bit of movement from him, his arms. The cord was still pulsing strong, he was getting everything he needed.  I was feeling so much love, inviting him in, welcoming him.  I knew he was here to stay, I knew he would breathe and awaken.  Again I blew a little bit of air in his mouth and then he gently started breathing, still asleep!  It’s hard to know how long it was, maybe a minute, maybe longer? It felt like a while but at the same time we felt loving and trusting and relaxed.  He was breathing now, snuggled on my chest.  We were overjoyed…and amused.  He is still asleep!  Wow, what a gentle beginning!

Then we had one more secret to discover – was our baby a boy or a girl?  How exciting!  His legs were all folded up so it wasn’t easy to see, and then we discovered he was a boy.  How perfect!  How exciting, our little boy! Then we also remembered to check the time.  It was just after 3:35am.  So labour was about 5 hours from beginning to end.

Brett put a cloth around him and we splashed water on it to keep him warm.  It was hard to stay warm in such a shallow pool and we were all wet, so I tried sinking down lower in the water to stay warm but it was a bit tricky.  He was waking gently by now, slowly opening his eyes.  After a few minutes we chose to get out the pool, dry off and get warmer by the fire.  I stood up and with Brett’s help, climbed out the pool.  Then I saw a torchlight by the door, Luna and Lotus were awake!  I eagerly motioned for them to come in and join us.  How perfect!  They came in just after he was born, exactly as I had visioned.  They came to join us and we said “Here is your little brother, just born!” we were teary with joy and excitement, so ecstatic!  He was so perfect, so divine. 

We sat by the fire and dried off and got warmer.  I started feeling uncomfortable reclining on a big cushion, a lot of pressure was on my sacrum.  Then I remembered the placenta.  I ran my fingers along the cord which was coming out of me and could feel the placenta just inside the entrance of my yoni.  Brett helped me up into a squat and put a big stainless steel bowl under me and I pushed the placenta out.  A big squashy sack of placenta came out with a blob into the bowl.  And a few drops of blood but that was it, hardly any blood at all!  As we were doing a Lotus Birth, there was no intention to cut the cord at all so we left it attached.   With the placenta out of me I felt a lot more comfortable to sit down so made myself comfortable and gave our little boy his first feed.  I’d offered the breast in the pool but he was still waking up and not interested until now.  And he had a strong little latch on him, straight in there, suckling strongly and beautifully.  My uterus started contracting straight away which felt intense, and I’d prepared for this by having a herbal tincture made by the local healing place.  It had crampbark and various other things in it, and tasted awful, so I downed it with some of my labor-ade that was still left.  Our new little baby was in my arms, suckling at my breast for the first time.  Amazing!

We’d done it!  We birthed our little boy in sensual, loving bliss!  We were in awe of his perfection and kept crying with joy just looking at him, soaking in his newborn radiance, so divine, so perfect.  What a magical occasion.

Our first Lotus Birth

 

* this story tells of our first Lotus Birth, and how to do your own.  I will write about our second Lotus Birth and put it on the blog another time.  Enjoy *

Lotus Birth is the practice of leaving the baby’s cord uncut after birth, so that baby and placenta remain attached until the cord naturally separates, just as a cut cord does, at 2 to 10 days after birth. Lotus birth is new in our culture, but reflects the respect that many traditional cultures have for the placenta – the baby’s first companion. This process allows a most gentle transition for a newborn baby, extending the sacredness of the time between womb and world. Energetically, the placenta and baby are linked as one, and if this connection is honoured, the baby will release the cord when they’re ready, just as they would release the cord stump. The placenta and cord are washed, dried and then preserved with dried ground rosemary which is an antibacterial, anti-fungal and a drying agent and smells very pleasant. Did you know that leaving the cord uncut, at least until it stops pulsating, gives your baby an extra 30-50% blood that has been stored in the placenta? Or that objects such as bags, pull-along toys, and even pets may symbolically represent our lost placenta? Physically, the job of the placenta is finished within a few hours of birth, but on an energy level the benefits of remaining connected to the placenta continue until the baby is ready to let it go. It’s a way to honour this connection for a few more days, rather than severing it immediately after birth.

Why do a Lotus Birth?

According to ‘Sacred Birthing’ by Sunni Karl, the baby and placenta actually live within the same auric field, in an “egg of light, still protected as if by an energetic womb.” When the cord is cut at birth and the placenta is removed, half of the aura is suddenly gone. This looks like a torn bubble whose edges are flapping openly around the baby, offering no protection. To repair the aura uses a great deal of baby’s vitality to complete, even in a healthy, hearty babe. If this is a baby whose health has already been compromised by interventions in pregnancy, a traumatic birth, or whose health has been neglected by lifestyle practices of mother or father, the extra energy needed to repair this tear is not readily available and takes much longer. This comes at a crucial time in development when baby is adjusting to this world, leaving baby open to immediate health difficulties like digestive problems, colic, colds, tummy aches and gas. Protecting the umbilical cord upholds the energy field and protects baby’s immune system. Keeping the cord intact keeps baby’s aura intact. Birth can happen the way nature intended, without any hovering scissors.

A benefit I received, as a mother, from doing a Lotus Birth was the sense of peace and tranquility in being able to immerse myself in the stillness and radiance of my newborn without picking up and carrying on life as usual straight away. Even the few visitors we had during this time were aware of the connection our baby had with her placenta. It seemed like she and her placenta were one entity, and we were giving them the time and space to gently release from each other. It was as if the energy of the whole house was raised to a higher vibration, and for those sensitive to it this was truly a magical experience. Also, for those first few days, our baby watched us through peaceful eyes as she basked in her radiance, totally at ease with herself and the world around her. Totally safe and tranquil, totally connected.

During a deep meditation to heal my own birth trauma, I was confronted with a deep memory of my own cord being cut in the hospital immediately after my birth. As soon as my cord was cut, my body felt cold and afraid, like I had been disconnected from the very source of my life. I gasped and felt like I was falling, alone in the world. Other people have had similar memories arise during healing sessions, and this is another powerful factor which has influenced a growing number of people to consider offering a gentle Lotus Birth to their own babies.

Is Lotus Birth for your baby?

Lotus birth softens the birth experience. Like a water birth, there seem to be only positive effects of Lotus Birth on a baby and its family. They are all unseen and can only be felt. If you are open to this possibility, how does it feel to consider this for your baby? Understanding its benefits, if you would like your baby to experience these gifts, then the logistics will fall easily into place. If you can, decide before labour if this is a path you wish to take. If you are committed, and prepared beforehand, then instead of looking at the placenta as an inconvenience, it is looked at with gratitude for the energetic gifts it is giving to your baby.

How to do a Lotus Birth

What you will need:
- About 3-4 cups of finely ground dried rosemary
- A bucket of warm water and a strainer
- A bamboo steamer (or similar ventilated container)
- Some towels or cloth nappies to absorb moisture
- A willingness and commitment to offer this gift to your baby

On a practical level, once the baby and placenta are born, it is helpful to have a bucket of warm water and a strainer handy to clean the placenta preferably within an hour or so of birth. It is important to be gentle and careful while doing this, as the baby is very sensitive to whatever happens with the placenta. Once the placenta has been thoroughly rinsed, it can be placed in a strainer to drain over a bucket or bowl. Initially it is easy to maneouvre the placenta around for washing, since the cord is still very soft. It is recommended to do as thorough a job as possible when initially cleaning your placenta, as this will make the whole process much easier and avoid smells in the long run. The placenta can be left to drain for a few hours in the strainer.
Now it is time to set yourself up in a comfortable place where you will be cosy for the next few days. Just remember, wherever your baby goes, so does the placenta, so one of the gifts of doing a Lotus birth is to learn to be still and peaceful with your baby. For us, the most practical and comfortable place to set ourselves up after the birth was our bedroom. It is handy to have some towels to place on the bed, so that the placenta can be placed closeby to your baby. The placenta can be initially left to drain for a few hours, which might include time for your baby to have a nap. A few hours later, the placenta can be rinsed again in a fresh bucket of warm water to remove any remaining residue, then pat gently dry with a towel. Once it has been dried carefully, it is time to cover it with dried rosemary. Salt is undesirable to use on the placenta as it interferes with the energetic transference and also absorbs the humidity in the air, making the placenta rot instead of dry in all but the driest climates. Remember that thorough care in the beginning will avoid smells further on, so it is worth being a bit pedantic about covering every nook and cranny of the placenta with rosemary. The cord will be drying out by now and becoming a bit harder, but you can also dust the cord with rosemary. It is also important to sprinkle rosemary liberally around the navel end of the base of the cord to assist in it drying out. Once the placenta is covered with rosemary, it can be placed next to your baby in a suitable container. We found the perfect container was a bamboo steamer (from Asian Grocery store) with a folded toweling nappy in the base of it to absorb any moisture. Over the first 24 hours, it is worth re-sprinkling rosemary and turning the placenta over every few hours, replacing the towel underneath with a fresh one. If it can get plenty of air, that will aid in the dehydration. The placenta will dehydrate and shrink rather quickly over the first day if it is allowed to air, and the cord will become very hard and twisted, like a piece of jerky. It is important to take care when moving your baby, so as not to pull at their belly with the cord.

Here is a picture of our 3 year old daughter Luna, their dad and our midwife sprinkling rosemary on the placenta for the first time.



After the initial drying period, the placenta takes much less maintenance. About 2-3 times a day we would turn the placenta over and re-sprinkle rosemary. Some babies let go of their cords in a couple of days, while some keep the connection for a bit longer. After a couple of days we noticed a pleasant, earthy smell mingled with the rosemary. On the third day I began to notice a slight ammonia smell from the placenta, but the main overriding scent was the rosemary. It was dried out enough that we removed the towelling nappy from underneath it so that the air could fully circulate to aid in the dehydration. It is important to continue sprinkling rosemary on and around the navel end of the cord stump to help it dry out, as this will partly determine how long the cord will remain attached for. We were fortunate to have gorgeous warm weather, so there was no need to dress Lotus. It was much easier to keep movements to a minimum so as not to worry about pulling on the cord. It was so precious to see her perfect little naked body lying peacefully on the bed, gently drifting between the worlds of womb and earth.

Here is a picture of Lotus lying peacefully connected with her placenta attached:


We didn’t move her out of the bedroom at all during this time. I felt totally relaxed about the whole process, and could lie close with her on the bed enjoying the serenity. The day before our baby let go of her cord I could tell she was moving into a new level of awareness. Her eyes were becoming more focused, her breastfeeding was more eager. She was beginning to settle into this world. It really broke everything down into baby steps and gave her and us the space to fully immerse in each new experience, rather than being bombarded with everything all at once. Although I admit there were rare moments of impatience at wanting to whisk her up in my arms and carry her around, I decided to relax and just accept the process no matter how long it would take. I knew it wouldn’t be long, but at the same time I had actually grown quite attached to the whole package myself and in a way was reluctant to see it go. It had served her so well. But I knew it was nearly time. Our baby held onto her cord and placenta for 6 days, which is a relatively long time. Most babies kick theirs off after around 3 or 4 days.

Here is a photo taken immediately after Lotus kicked off her cord:


It was such a serene and enriching experience to do the lotus birth, and I would certainly do it again if ever the opportunity arose. Our baby is such a radiant and centred soul, such a content and peaceful baby. Of course there are many contributing factors to this, but I have no doubt that allowing her this sacred experience has helped her transition into this world be as gentle and nurturing as possible. Not only for her, but for our whole family and all those who visited and experienced the powerful connection. And for me it was a huge shift to be still and fully immerse myself in the whole experience, and fully enjoy every moment of that first week of her life. Doing the lotus birth has given our family and our home a new level of peace and tranquillity not previously experienced, and I fully recommend this gift be offered to more babies as our awareness of its benefits expands.

© Alice Fisher 2007
Feel free to share this information with others and spread awareness of Lotus Birth so other babies and families get to experience its gifts, but for permission to reprint contact Alice at alice@bongobaby.com.au or call 0422 379 722.
Recommended further reading:
‘Sacred Birthing’ by Sunni Karl
‘Lotus Birth’ by Shivam Rachana

Here is Lotus and her big sister Luna, 3 years later!

The Impact of Television on Children's Brains

In this age of rapidly accelerating technology, it is important for us to consider what impact this has on our children, especially television. Television has become a big part of everyday modern life for many people. If you walk into the average 'civilized' house, you are likely to find the television placed in prime position in the main room of the house, with the furniture carefully arranged around it so that everyone can get a good view. Added to that, many homes how have televisions in the bedrooms and other areas too.  Television can be a useful source of information and entertainment for most adults, but children are not in the same stage of development as adults.

When speaking to parents about their children's television watching habits, many parents will often reassure me that they keep a close eye on the types of programs their children are allowed to watch.  They claim that many shows now are specially aimed at children, and some of them are even educational.  I would like parents to consider that it's not the 'content' of the programs their children are watching, but the act of watching itself that can be the problem.  The more the television is used to entertain a child, the more the child needs to be entertained, creating a vicious circle as their lack of imagination prevents them from initiating more enriching play.  There are plenty of studies that confirm the connection between violent behaviour and its connection to television viewing, and in addition to these findings it is very important to look at the neurological impact of television on developing brains.

Did you know that babies' brains are developing in unique ways during their first 3 years?  This is a crucial stage of brain development that is complete by age three.  For their brains to develop properly they need to move, to play, to explore, to be nurtured by and interact with people around them.  They don't get this kind of stimulation from a television, which means many are missing out on crucial brain development during this short window of time, which can never be recovered.  In fact, if you look at children while they are watching television, it can be quite disturbing indeed.  They go into a very passive state, their eyes look empty, and they become receptive to whatever messages the television is putting out.  They also have not yet developed the filters to discriminate between fantasy and reality, no matter how much an adult explains the difference, so they are very impressionable and take everything in at face value.  In fact, while watching television, people go into such a passive state that a steady flow of 'startle' flickers must be programmed into a show to keep the brain alert.  'Startles' are sudden, unexpected sounds or scenes designed to keep the brain awake and involved.  Quick changes of camera angle, unexpected or surprising sounds, sudden actions, rapid-fire scenes - all of this startles the brain enough to hold its attention and creates just enough stress to activate body preparedness for defensive action...thanks to a continuous, low-level stream of cortisol entering the viewer's bloodstream.

Cortisol is part of our body's "flight-or-fight" response, and it takes from eight to twenty-four hours for cortisol to clear the bloodstream after entry.  Advertisers often insist that a certain number of startles appear in each show segment.  It's part of their contract with the television producers.  The neurological impact this has on kids is akin to child abuse.  It impedes normal brain development, decreases intelligence, and interferes with the nervous system and emotional response patterning.  The impact on pre-borns is even greater, because of the blood-tie between the mother and her fetus.  The growing fetus can be flooded by mum's cortisol again and again.  This is why it is so important for pregnant women to live in as stress-free an environment as possible.  For a fetus, baby or young child to be subject to constant levels of cortisol in their bodies from watching television, keeps their brains in the lower 'flight-or-fight' patterning, which inhibits them from developing their higher consciousness and imagination.

By putting babies and young children in front of a television, we are literally re-wiring their brains and preventing them from reaching their potential.  The evidence of this damage doesn't become obvious until about the age of 7, when the child starts exhibiting learning difficulties, often labelled as ADHD.  Other problems include lack of empathy, desensitization to violence, unrealistic expectations of reality, limited imagination and swinging between physical lethargy and bursts of scattered energy.  Television may also blunt a commitment to language by delaying the development of the verbal areas of the brain at a crucially language-sensitive age.  Children learn to speak through imitating, listening to and conversing with real, live people.  Mechanically reproduced voices on television are no substitute for real conversation.  Of all the damage wrought by TV, impairment of internal imagery may be the most serious.  All higher forms of intelligence, such as empathy, compassion, love, as well as science, philosophy and religion are based on capacities for abstract thought and symbolic structures developed through internal image-making, which begins formation in the first year of life.  Television radically undermines the development of image-making in that it offers a verbal sound and provides the matching image.  The image is already there with the sound, leaving the higher creative levels of the brain with nothing to do.  The vast fields involved in image-making lie idle and eventually atrophy.  "Use it or lose it" is nature's dictum.  And we are losing it. TV entertains the mind, and clearly entertainment is not play.  By the nature of the neural fields involved, neither can TV educate.  But it can condition very well.  Television is a powerful, multi-sensory teacher of values.  Even under the best circumstances, it can be difficult for parents to be as persuasive.

Even if we as viewers grow blase about the barrage of image-sounds now used in both TV and movies, the ancient parts of the brain have no such discrimination.  They continue to release their shots of cortisol even as our higher self expresses indifference.  The result is that the body lives in a constant state of threat. A further by-product of constant startle is over-production of reduntant neural connections, which are thought to cause a considerable reduction in brain efficiency.  But an even more serious impairment results from keeping the brain on hyper-alert.  All living organisms threatened in their early developmental period, even plants, tend to reproduce very quickly.  It is as if an external threat is saying "Your time is short, breed!"  And this is just what the ancient mammalian brain will bring about, thus we have the trend toward premature genital sexuality.  The disappearance of childhood we have long lamented takes on vast implications, which is combined with the brain's mal-adaptions explained earlier.

The good news is infants, toddlers and children don’t need television to distract or entertain them. Humans raised children for 50,000 years before television sets, and you can do it, too. Your children can learn to entertain themselves or play with your supervision.  We humans learn best through interpersonal relationships and hands-on activity, not television.

How do we break the TV habit?  The easiest first step to reduce television viewing in your household is to move the television set/s to a less prominent location.  TV is far less tempting when it is not accessible.  Also remove TV sets from your children’s bedroom, and instead create a calming atmosphere with materials and toys to encourage more imaginative play.  Keep the TV off during dinner.  Meals are a great time for conversation.  Place clear limits on television viewing, and designate certain days of the week as TV-free days.  Don’t use TV as a reward or punishment.  This increases its power and can lead to conflict over its use.

Avoid using TV as a babysitter.  This creates a vicious cycle of dependence, and rather than giving you more time to do things, it makes your job as a parent harder in the long run as you end up with a child unable to concentrate or entertain themselves. Involve children in household activities and meal preparation.  The task might take a little longer, but the teamwork and interaction are worth it.  Turn regular household activities into a game.  Give them an opportunity to help out.  Don’t let the TV displace what’s important: family conversation, exercise, play, reading, creating, thinking and doing.  Consider living without television.  We ditched our TV before our first child was born and have a much more fulfilling quality of life now.  We still watch the occasional DVD on our computer, but our household is much more peaceful and fulfilling than it could ever be if we still had the insidious electronic box lurking in the corner.  Remember that the more energy you invest in quality interaction with your children now, it will be repaid a thousandfold as they mature.  By sticking your children in front of the television, not only are you losing your connection and influence with them, but they are being subject to the damage explained above.

Offer more attractive activities for your children so they don’t feel deprived without their television.  Do some baking together, go outside and plant some seedlings with them and care for them as they grow.  Even if the weather is raining, put on your gumboots and raincoat, take your umbrella and go for a splashy rainy walk.  My children love this, and so do I.  It is so much fun!  After all, it’s only water.  And when you get home you can take off any wet clothes and have a nice warm bath.  Go to a national park or beach for a few hours.  Make a kite together and take it for a fly.  Read some books. Tell some stories.  Make some simple sock puppets as characters for a play.  Play ‘I-spy’, and depending on the age of the children you might want to use colours as the clue.  Do some crafts, with some paper and glue make a special card for grandma and grandpa and then go to the post office and post it.  Build a tent in the loungeroom from blankets hung over chairs.  It really is amazing the amount of activities that you will begin to imagine as fulfilling alternatives to the box.  And the interesting thing is, the more activities you do, the more your imagination will be fired up to think of more, and life gets even more fun!  Connecting with your children in this way not only deepens your bond with them which is invaluable in itself, it also nurtures their imagination, encouraging them to develop into the brilliant, ingenious and creative beings they truly are.

Alice Fisher © 2007
References:
Beyond the Indigo Children – P.M.H. Attwater, L.H.D.
Who’s Bringing Them Up? – Martin Large
The Plug-in Drug – Winn, M
Endangered Minds – Healey, J
You Are Your Child’s First Teacher – Rahima Baldwin Dancy
The Genius of Play – Sally Jenkinson

Getting it all together!

Hey there cyberspace traveller,

Welcome to my personal blog.  In the name of simplicity, this one blog will consolidate all my others, so everything will be in this one place.

It's a place for me to share my thoughts, feelings, insights, experiences, research, musings, contemplations, and explorations into areas such as being a woman, motherhood, pregnancy, birth & babies, intimacy, culture and society...health and nutrition...and whatever else comes along my path.

I will continue my other websites for different purposes:

www.blossomingwoman.com.au - is about women's empowerment, especially for pregnancy, healing birth, intimacy and motherhood.  I do personal mentoring and coaching sessions for women.

www.bongobaby.com.au - my online store of handmade creations for babies and children, specialising in EC nappy-free baby pants and unique eco-friendly clothing.  All made with love by me.

www.zuvuya.com.au - an eclectic collection of adult clothing handmade by me, for sale online.

Enjoy!

Please feel free to contact me alice@blossomingwoman.com.au to say hello, or comment on a blog that moves you....

Love,
Alice x